And So It Begins...

8:30 – And We Are Underway…

And there’s no Billy Crystal to start but instead we get Morgan Freeman and his busted hand (note the black glove…that’s not sign of protest). Morgan sets up a look back at movies and of course Billy Crystal inserts himself into old films.

First up is that George Clooney movie and then we move onto Moneyball where they noddingly realize they have bad writers…then to the Woody Allen movie where Bieber tries to generate the 18-25 demo. To “The Help” with the shit pie to Bridesmaids.

Here’s not there but they got Tom Cruise for a clever cameo and some weird makeup for that Adventures of Tin Tin movie…which as Crystal states, was lucky to be nominated.

Folks, here is Billy Crystal. Best known to people over 50 as that guy from Saturday Night Live, to people over 40 that guy from “White Nights” with Gregory Hines (featuring a rocking soundtrack from Michael McDonald…see below), and for those over 30 the guy from “City Slickers”. For those under 30, he is sadly known for that terrible movie “Mr. Saturday Night” and not much else.

Billy’s doing his schick from the past singing about the nominated movies. Some highlights from it…Martin Scorsese’s fake “bust up” laughing, Clooney looking very confused, and Viola Davis putting on a nervous smile. Billy is a little flat on his last note.

When he’s done, Hollywood claps like its seeing its senile old Grandpa try and show his family he can do the Macarena.

Now it’s onto Tom Hanks and he introduces a seat filler who looks like Mickey Rooney. First award is for Cinematography and I can’t tell if its an upset or not but “Hugo” wins. Love the winner as it looks like he sits in the “Allman Brothers Band”. Quick speech too…that’s always good.

As for Art Direction aka set decoration, the Oscar goes to Hugo as well. Hmmm..are we off to an upset here? The Academy loves them some Marty Scorsese. Hah, a husband and wife team. My wife is perturbed he doesn’t help his wife up the steps…and OH MY GOD I CAN SEE WHY!!! Good lord, her face is sliding off her head!!!

Anyway, here’s some Michael McDonald…pump it.