Sizzler

Family dinner night! In today's households with little kids this might mean a trip to Appleby's, T.G.I.Fridays, Buffalo Wild Wings, or Friendlys. About 20 years ago, those options were more limited to Bennigans and...well Friendlys I guess. One of these places that will always hold a special place in my heart (and rectum) is Sizzler.

Sizzler had a brilliant concept for little kids. It was basically a buffet full of high fat but delicious food and did I mention it was a buffet? That meant one could mix macaroni and cheese, with a taco, with a chicken finger, with a slice of pizza...HEAVEN to an 8 year old.

Even better was the dessert bar, full of help yourself soft serve ice cream and about gazillion different toppings. Sometimes I wouldn't even eat the ice cream and just go for the toppings....ever have dish full of hot fudge syrup and chocolate chips? Well, I have and its quite tasty!

Sadly, Sizzler slowly closed down their locations and there are a handful left. I had thought it had gone completely out of business until I stumbled across one when I lived in Bayside Queens. My roommate and I went to check it out, to relive our youth, only to find that something terrible had happened in between then and now. We had actually developed good eating habits. After 15 years of not going to a Sizzler and then going back to eat the fried greasy goodness, the food wrecked havoc on our insides. Within a few minutes of eating the main course, I felt my stomach rumbling and if I didn't get home to a bathroom there was going to be some serious consequences. The same thing was happening to my roommate and we bolted out of there and ran a few red lights to get back to our apartment. Let's just say my sphincter was sizzling that night as well.

So to the Sizzler, I say thank you for the memories of your exquisite buffets and mouthwatering dessert bars. I have grown too old for you now but I know that if I ever need an enema of any kind, I can walk through your doors and gorge myself on your plethora of heart attack inducing items.

I almost need to use the bathroom just watching this...