Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Classic Videos - Open Your Heart By Madonna

Holy crap, I completely forgot about this video growing up as it totally blew my mind. I think I was 8 or 9 when it came out so I didn't understand ANYTHING going on in the video.

I'm going to try write this from two mindsets...myself as a 9 year old and myself today. Let's go...

9 year old me: Cool sign, by why is she on top of that guy strangling him?

Me today: That's a prime example of banana breasts.

9 year old me: Wow, cool kid...check out his groovy outfit.

Me today: What a douche bag that kid looks like.

9 year old me: Hey that changing eyes thing with your hand is neat.

Me today: Dammit, stop moving the screen around so I can get a close up of that naked girl on the poster.

9 year old me: Cool...sailors!

Me today: WTF are two guys in sailor suits doing there?!?

9 year old me: Wow, she looks pretty.

Me today: Madonna in her absolute PRIME...the only knock is her short haircut but who cares...yum!

9 year old me: That's funny...she's doing a neat looking stretch with her thighs using that chair.

Me today: Sean Penn was a very lucky man.

9 year old me: Cool dance moves!

Me today: I love awkward 80's music video choreography.

9 year old me: What is that kid trying to do here?

Me today: What is that kid trying to do here?

9 year old me: Are those pictures or real people in the background? That purple suit looks very dapper. All of those other people watching her sure are funny looking.

Me today: God Dammit, stop cutting away from Madonna dancing!!!

9 year old me: I would love to be one of those guys in the video.

Me today: I'd love to be that chair in the video.

9 year old me: I like how that guy moves his eyebrows real quick after she shoots the picture with a fake gun.

Me today: I like how that guy moves his eyebrows real quick after she shoots the picture with a fake gun.

9 year old me: This dancing is boring me...go back to the funny people watching her dance with the windows opening and closing.

Me today: Ahhhh, yes...perfect.

9 year old me: How can this little kid keep doing that weird hand move?

Me today: How can this little kid be so obsessed with this picture?

9 year old me: That little kid can sure dance!

Me today: Ripped off from numerous Michael Jackson videos including the top hat.

9 year old me: Uh-oh, why are the men getting mad at each other?

Me today: I can think of 100 reasons why and 99 of them are probably X-rated.

9 year old me: Wow, Madonna just gave him a kiss on the lips!

Me today: Hah, Madonna just gave that kid herpes.

9 year old me: Now they're dancing together...how fun that looks...and they have similar outfits.

Me today: Ugh, this is so corny. I'm going to punch my 9 year old self now for liking this part.

9 year old me: Whoa, check out those funky moves!

Me today: It looks they're having seizures. They almost look like when two geese get into a fight when one gets to close to the other's family.

3:55- 4:00
9 year old guy: What is he saying?

Me today: I'm serious...What is he saying?

4:02- end
9 year old me: They're dancing off into the sunrise...oh well, time to play with my Transformers!

Me today: I almost need a cold shower...its time to pay the bills.

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