Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Final Thoughts

I have a solid buzz going so I'm going try and bullet point my thoughts here.

* The show started slow but slowly built steam.

* For a show that is to appeal to a younger generation, they like to bring out relics from the baby boomer generation like Steve Martin, Queen, Rod Stewart, Santana, Lionel Richie, KISS, and Queen Latifah. Strange combination there. The Black Eye Peas is as close as you get to a current crowd.

* The Idol tour should do well.

* Kara not only has a great voice, but a pretty good body. I still can't tell if the bikini girl knew Kara was coming out. Not sure if she's coming back next year, but a good way to go out.

* My 10 year old cousin summed it up best "OMG!".

I'm really tempted to play some KISS songs on Rock Band right now (Detroit Rock City)...

That's all...thanks for stopping buy.

And Your Winner Is...

I like how they each are holding a microphone. Simon's final comments are pretty much that they are nice guys and that the music business will completely corrupt them.

Edward Boddington from Telescope gets his moment of fame here. Hmmm..he says "almost" 100 million votes were cast when Ryan said "over" 100 million votes were cast.

And the winner is...KRIS!!!

Unbelievable...although I could see this coming...I didn't. If not for the bottle of wine I drank, I'd throw something across the room. Instead, I'm a happy drunk and can't feel happy for him.

What a cheesy trophy.

Hmmm...Simon's not standing up like the other judges.

Here comes some verbal diarhea..."No Boundries". What a terrible song...hopefully Adam gets a song that suits his style better because this sounds exactly the kind of song Kris will sing for the years to come.

Its Justin Guarini!!!


Adam and Kris and QUEEN

Here comes "We Are The Champions"...Adam could definitely be the next Freddie Mercury (without the dying of AIDS...hopefully).

Hey its Brian May and Roger Taylor from Queen themselves. Cool idea here.

I'd love the drummer to start singing "I'm in looooooove with caaaaaaaarrrr" here.

At what age does a man with long hair cut it? Brian May is over 60 I think.

I thought Paula and Kara were going to make out for a second.

Brian May whispers to Kris and Adam "let's see you lasting 40 years in this business you little bastards".

Tatianna's Big Moment

1.) Hmmm...sort of strange 9/11 reference by Simon there about jumping off the Empire State Building.

2.) Lame.

3.) I like this song..."Through The Fire".

4.) Uh-oh...this girl will win this award...she's a drama queen.

Rod Stewart

The guys are singing "Do Ya Think I'm Sexy?". I smell one thing...and his name is Rod Stewart.

None of them have the raspy voice Stewart does. I love Scott...did I tell you he's blind?

Here's hope is that he sings "Love Touch", "The Motown Song" or "Baby Jane"...instead we get a weak voice version of "Mandolin Rain".

C'mon!!! This song is almost 40 years old. There are so many songs he could have done. Give me "My Heart Can't Tell You No", "Some Guys Have All The Luck", or even "Infatuation".

Rod looks like he could be Robert Plant's brother...and that's scary.

Rod's voice sounds a little shot. Oh no, he's doing the "over the head" clap move. I guarantee that no one in the front section has heard of this song.

List of stars who have sold out tonight: Santana, Queen Latifah, Jason Mraz, Black Eye Peas, Steve Martin...I'd add Kiss to that list but they sold out 25 years ago with "I Was Made For Loving You".

Megan Joy, Steve Martin, Country Hick

Steve Martin is another person who sells his soul to the devil appearing this show. He's actually one of the best banjo players on the planet. Is that Kenny Rogers next to him?

This hack that sings the first part of the song.

Here's the blond with the crazy arm tattoo. Now sure what her career will be...she's cute I'll give her that. That tattoo really freaks me out.

Steve Martin has the look on his face that screams "I'm going to fire my agent for making me do this shitty show".

Steve shows just how unfunny he's become. I'm going to watch Three Amigos to get that terrible taste out of my mouth.

Ford Music Video

Sort of a "best of" video shots. Adam's look on his face look like he's taking a dump while Kris looks like he has a mouth full of tobacco.

David Cooks "surprises" Kris and Adam with new cars. Ford Fusion....didn't Obama just pass new engine regulations?

Carlos Santana

We're approaching the home stretch now...

Carlos Santana plays his most famous hit "Black Magic Woman"...random fact, Fleetwood Mac originally did this song.

And we have a Matt sighting! Wearing his trademark hat, he gets a few lines before the rest of the Idols come in for "Smooth".


Ugh, more gang vocals. Poor Carlos. When he was playing 30 years ago, could he ever imagine doing this?

Heather Locklear sighting. Jasmine playing air guiter and Janice Dickinson again.

Adam does Pinhead

Is this a scene from "Hellraiser: The Musical"? No wait its a Kiss song..."Beth"

Interesting because this used to be song by Kiss's drummer who had NO voice.

Oh boy, here's Kiss.


Phew...okay back to the music. I love "Detroit Rock City". Off to their main staple. I used to think they were singing "I want to rock and roll all night and part of every day".

These guys are as old as my Dad. Can't see my Dad in face make up and 6 inch heels.

Paul Stanley does a poor man's Pete Townshend imitation of smashing his guitar.

Time for some backstage BJ's!

Adam's "Journey"

They show old clips of Adam who looks exactly the same. I love those Randy Travis clips.

This is his to lose...even if he loses I predict the best selling career Season 8 Idol sales out of him.

Where is he?

Danny Gokey - Hello/Random New Song/All Night Long

Danny gets the plush 9pm time slot to sing a sappy Lionel Richie song. Not to beat a dead horse...but in the original video a blind girl obsessed over Lionel Richie. I'd love to see Scott come out and create a bust of Danny's head and sing to it.

Now Lionel comes out to sing his new single destined to barely crack the Billboard top 200. Did Lionel just sing "let's just chill"? This the man who wrote one of the best breakdown sections of a song ever in "All Night Long" (Jambo jambo!)

And right on cue...All Night Long! I swear, I just wrote the above paragraph without seeing this happen. Great, I miss the 80's. I nearly broke down and cried on the way home thinking that 20 years ago was 1989...where does the time go???

I switched over to wine...this is risky move.

Kris Allen's Parents

Kris Allen's Dad looks like he's a little ashamed to stand next to his wife. My Mom is holding up nicely but I'd never want to see her in that kind of outfit.

Over to Adam's family...all I can think of is that scene in "Heathers" when the Dad yells out "I love my son!!! My dead gay son!!!"

Alison and Cyndi Lauper - Time After Time

Cindy Lauper is playing some kind of lap guitar. This song was released before Alison was born I think. Underrated video...not sure why she left the guy in the video.

I would pay $1,000 for Cyndi to start singing the Goonies song...the one that goes "Good enough!!! For you...its....gooooood enough for meeeee!!! Ah-Yah-yah-yah-yay"

Looks like it won't happen.

Cyndi is holding up nicely here...a bit os spastic arm moves but not bad.

When is Scott going to duet with Stevie Wonder?

Awards Time - Best Attitude - Bikini Girl

Here we go again...

1.) Bikini Girl - I loved how she threw her body out there and made it to Hollywood.

2.) Alexis - This kind of person is the reason why these early rounds are just pointless TV.

3.) Tiffany - I like the donkey reference by Simon...first time I laughed out loud tonight. Still, again this is why the early rounds are just lame.

And the winner is the bikini girl...HELLO BOOB JOB!!!. Nice line by Ryan there to acknowledge that.

Bikini Girl will next be seen on Cinemax around Saturday at 2am.

Kara can sing! I love how she is completely showing up this girl. Nice body on her too. The bikini girl looks completely embarassed.

Best moment so far...

Glamorous Life

All the final 5 woman are singing Glamorous. Dear lord, the blond sounds terrible. That was a terrible job.

Here's Fergie. She doesn't sound much better...somebody get her a vocoder stat!

She has a lot of split ends here. I always liked this song. A good mid-tempo ballad with a decent hook.

My wife chirps in here..."she looks horrible...but then again she's married now". Her legs are holding up at least.

Time for some "Boom Boom Pow". The blond girl with the crazy tattoo is grinding on somebodyh right now. I bet the Black Eye Peas are glad Fergie decided to come back to them. If all else fails the guys in the Black Eye Peas and No Doubt should form a band together.

What was up with the cut to the American Idol logo there.

The zebra outfitted dancers are right out of the "One Night In Bangkok" video.

Randy looks like he's sporting a massive erection right now.

Kris Allen song

Hmmm..I'm not a big country fan. Keith Urban joins Kris on this song. I didn't think Kris Allen was a country guy. I love the guy rocking out on the banjo on the left.

I'm tuning out here...

Keith Urban's wife is Nicole Kidman...I wonder if she's there. Let's do a quick top 5 Nicole Kidman movie list.

5.) Moulin Rouge - a very trippy movie that somehow holds together.
4.) To Die For - good satire of the television media.
3.) The Others - a bit of a "Sixth Sense" ripoff but still a good creepy movie.
2.) Dead Calm - awesomely underrated movie from 1990ish. Seek it out...she gets naked too.
1.) Days Of Thunder - just for her saying "Cole, le-me outta da cah" 100 times in a row.

Kris Allen's "Journey"

Yes...I love his pork pie hat in his first judges audition.

I'll admit, I didn't like him at first but he definitely gained the most momentum as the season went on.

If I'm his wife, I'm EXTREMELY nervous. He can get any girl (legal or not) right now. She better make sure she still hits the gym on a regular basis.

I'm Yours

Here's Anoop and the blond haired girl who's name I forget singing that the Jason Mraz dirge "I'm Yours". This song is already at least a year old! Jason's hat out of date as well.

I love Anoop's 11 O'clock shadow. His facial hair reminds of me trying to grow a bad goatee the summer I turned 15.

Here are some of the other rejects singing background.

I Apologize

To those of you who are watching this show because of anything I had to do with this show lame? Absolutely. It takes five minutes to announce the winner but they will fill it out over two hours.

I'm getting the "this is lame" tingles.

But I'm not going anywhere...

Bud light is kicking in...

Lil Rounds and Queen Latifah

Here's the first duet. Lil Rounds, who sounds a bit off, starts this song off. The slap bass sounds better than her voice.

I think I just saw Queen Latifah's camel toe in those tight "Mom Jeans" black pants. These poor backup dancers...I love the pop lock dance moves though.

Queen's microphone sounds turned up louder than Lil Rounds.

What song is this?

Awards Time - Best Male

I'm going to update by segment now....

This was pretty lame last year so let's see what happens this go around.

Best Male - Looks like they are recycling the "Best of the Worst". I like the first guy singing the "Mad World" song that Adam made his own. The second guy sounds like he was doing his Helen Keller impersonation and the black guy sounded like the old "Five Alive" juice drink spokesman. I have no comment on the 4th guy and the last guy actually made the final 36.

The last guy wins and has his signature hoodie on. Uh-oh, he's going to sing. Somewhere backstage Adam is licking his lips and looking at those short shorts.

Hmmmm...not sure how I feel about wife "Hungiewoman" sums it up "that was so dumb".

David Cook

Interesting moment here...David Cook's brother died a couple of weeks ago. The lyrics seems to talk about it a bit.

Not sure why the rest of the band is there if its just him and the piano.'s the big rock entrance. He can hold those long notes out...not too bad.

Well all that setup for the band for about one minute of music.

I like David Cook...I won't buy his album but I would certainly download it illegally.

Group performance

Oh boy...this is why I do this.

Pink must be puking into her mouth. Talk about "Gang Vocals". Everybody other than Allison, Danny, Kris, and Adam seems to be desparate to attract any record labels president's attention here. The blond should just take her top off. If this what the tour is going to look like, then God help those of you with kids under the age of 15.

GOD its good to see Scott McIntyre's herky dance moves again...

First commercial break...

Intro of the Singers

First technical glitch...TURN ON KRIS AND ADAM'S MICROPHONE.

Mikalah Gordon whoc I've never heard of is in Arkansas with Kris and his fans. The little girl being interviewed seems to be fascinated with Mikalah's cleavage.

Season 7 Carly Smithson is in San Diego trying to whoops it up. I was expecting her to do a "Oooo-it Oooo-it" they used to do in the mid 90's.

8pm Cold Intro - Judges Intro

And we are underway...

I love in the computer generated intro it looks the people are walking into a concert venue right out of the Death Star.

First celebrity sighting: Janice Dickinson from the Surreal Life.

100 million desparate souls voted last night.

Intro of the judges:
Randy - multiple clips of Randy are shown saying "For Me" but I'm distracted by his horrible fashion sense. The only thing that stays consistent is that rainbow colored necklace.

Kara - I am oddly attracted to her but her personality would drive me crazy. This could be her final appearance tonight if the rumors are true.

Paula - I am convinced that her breasts are mishapen. You can't see it tonight but it looks like she had some kind of "cheek implant" inserted into her breasts.

Simon - Hmmm...he wasn't booed by Randy for once.

Overall, the clips were a little silly but it gets the night going.

American Idol Finale Preshow the American Idol running commentary. I'll start with my surroundings. I'm sitting on my living room couch which was recently thrown up by my beloved niece twice last weekend. I had not seen that much puke since my college days in Boston. In any event, the smell appears to be gone so let's keep out fingers crossed.

My preshow dinner was Greek and I am currently starting on my first Bud Light. I fully expect to either have a solid buzz going by the start of hour 2...or I will be in the bathroom holding on for dear life as the chicken gyro I ordered exits my body.

Here's a quick checklist of things I hope to see tonight.
1.) Randy do his stupid "Booooooo!!!" when they introduce Simon Cowell.
2.) Scott McIntyre awkwardly wave to the crowd and try to find the camera(mind you he's blind)
3.) The completely chaotic song performance that the "Final 13" contestents will put on. My early favorite Jorge was ousted early so it will be good to see him again. I predict he will sing two lines solo in the group song.
4.) A bunch of random pairings of the finalists.
5.) Random celebrity sightings (last night was Katie Homes and Sir Anthony Hopkins...has anyone seen the movie "The Gift" by the way?. I bet Tom Cruise is on a mission to destroy all copies of that film. There are only two reasons to see that movie by the way...and they are a C-cup).
6.) Some type of promotion for a Fox movie...last year it was "Tropic Thunder".
7.) Some kind of "Best of the Worst" feature.
7.) A technical glitch or two.

I've been watching the entire season since the Semifinal round of 36 so I am fully vested in this show tonight. This should be fun.

Prediction: Adam SHOULD win here (I'll go with him) but I have a sneaking suspicion that Kris could steal this.

See you around 8pm...

American Idol Finale

Since this is an pop culture website...what bigger pop culture event is there tonight than the American Idol finale? Come on by starting around 7:45 EST for some laughs, some tears, and some biting commentary...

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Funny Videos

Having a lazy Sunday so I thought I'd make a post on the blog. I saw some funny videos over the past couple weeks and here are two of them.

The first teaches all of us the very important lesson that if you go to celebrity golf tournament, you should still stand as far away as the golfers as if you were playing with your closest friends. Don't take their playing ability for granted...

I love the kids reaction at the very end.

Second is a parody of those NBA Playoff ads that have been going on that ask if there will be a magic moment in the current NBA playoffs. They take an amazing play, and show it in black and white while slowing it down. Someone had an awesome idea of using this clip for it and it works beautifully.

Here's one more...only because I love how someone loves the old Transformers cartoon as much as me thought of this episode.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Marriage Proposals and the 1986 Masters

One of my favorite all time sporting events that occurred in my lifetime that I never actually saw happen live was the 1986 Masters. This was the tournament where a supposedly washed up 46 year old Jack Nicklaus made a huge comeback on the final day. This putt on the 17th hole was the most memorable moment as Jack took the lead for the first time in the tournament. The subtle but effective announcer commentary and the crowd reaction only add to it.

After watching this 1,561 times, I realized that this clip is just like a marriage proposal. Follow my rational here. First the clip.

Pretty amazing right? Now lets re imagine this as a marriage proposal.

0:00 - 0:14 - Jack lining up the putt are those few nerve wracking seconds when the guy decides "alright, let's pop the question right now" while his soon to be fiancee is probably babbling away about work or gossiping about a random friend.

0:15-0:31 Jack leaning over the putt compares to the moment that the guy gets down on one knee. The crowd goes dead silent in anticipation of what is to happen next.

Even the announcer says at the the :27 second mark, "this is for sole possession of the lead"...or rather "sole possession of his woman's heart".

0:31-0:39 - The camera angle changing compares to the actual asking of the question "will you marry me". Again, the silence and crowd anticipation reaches it's climax here.

0:39-0:43 The putt starts its way towards the hole compares to the excruciating wait the guy has to wait for his lady's answer. Even if a guy knows it is a certain "yes", its still a tense moment.

The announcer adds to the tension here with his simple comment of "maybe" at the :43 second mark.

:44-1:06: YES SIR!!! The putt is made and proposal is accepted. What newly engaged guy wouldn't feel like Jack after he made that putt...pumping his fists, exhaling deeply, and looking towards the sky. The crowd goes crazy.