Monday, July 28, 2008

TV Intro Breakdown - Small Wonder

Today we look at the intro to a classic 80's show, Small Wonder.

Small Wonder was about a guy who created a robot in the likeness of a small child. The robot's name was V.I.C.I (or Vicky) which stood for Voice Input Child Identicant. Yup, she's an that a word that exists in the English language? She lived in a cabinet in her "brothers" room.

This show featured two of the most annoying people ever portrayed on a television series...the human son Jamie and the next door neighbor Harriet.

The writers of the show must have doing a lot of 1980's cocaine and blow to come up with this concept. If I were writing for this show, I would have started a forbidden sexual relationship between Vicky and her "brother" Jamie (they're almost teenagers). That would have been pretty cool...and yes pretty sick as well.

This show somehow lasted 4 years but I don't recall it ever being on a major network. I think it was syndicated on channel 11 in New York much like other crappy but watchable shows like Charles In Charge, My Secret Identity, and Out Of This World.

Let's dig a little usual, you can follow along with the timecode.

:00-:01 - Some angelic vocal harmonies lead to the title card. The graphics aren't too bad for 1985.

:03-:06 - The poor father in the show has nobody to eat lunch with and would rather eat next to the sidewalk in his job's parking lot. No wonder he creates child female robots.

:07-:10 - My 2nd favorite part of the credits...the awkward forced smile turn to the camera an actor has to do when being introduced. This has to be one of the best ones of all the TV series in the 80's...I love the smile that turns into a gentle laugh and he shows his teeth. He looks like golfer Tom Watson too.

:11-:18 - Time to meet the mother. Why is she putting a table cloth on top the kitchen table? I thought only resturants do that. I also love how she also does the awkward smile except it looks like she's looking into the wrong camera...otherwise she must be laughing because she just broke wind and impressed herself with the smell.

:19-:25 - The second most annoying character on TV. This kid just looks like he wants to be punched in the face. There actually was a rumor that this actor was really Billy Corgan. I don't see the resemblence at all but then again I though Paul from the Wonder Years was Marilyn Manson for awhile there.

:28-:37 - Here's Vicky. You get a sexy view of her naked back exposing all of her wiring. Then she turns and gives you her best robot expression.

:38-:39 - The sexual tension between Jamie and Vicky starts almost immediately. Nice shirt he's wearing too.

:40-:43 - THE MOST ANNOYING CHILD ACTOR EVER. Her expression changing from shock to an evil smile is my favorite part of the credits though.

:44-:50 - Another awkward meeting between the two kids. Jamie is already thinking about all the cool things he can do to her when the lights go out at night.

:51- end - Jamie and Vicky appear to sneaking into the house with Jamie holding some kind of box...what could be in it? Condoms? Drugs? A sexy piece of lingerie for Vicky to try on?

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