Ranking the McDonalds Characters

Like most kids, I believed in Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, and the Easter Bunny. I also believed in Ronald McDonald and anytime it was announced that he was going to make an appearance at a local McDonald's, I was all over it. But then my fear of clowns would kick so I never got to see him. I did enjoy him and his goofy companions from afar though and this post is dedicated to them.

Top 5 McDonald's Characters:

5.) Birdie the Early Bird -



I really have no idea what the supporting cast of Ronald McDonald represented. Some are easily more definable than others. Birdie the Early Bird falls into the "hard to define" category. I'm assuming she promoted the breakfast side of McDonald's (and nothing beat a tasty "Big Breakfast" meal back in 1987). However, now that I think of it, early birds are supposed to get the early worms. Though no worms have never been found in a McDonald's meal, it would appear that Birdie is not a good mascot.

4.) The Fry Kids -



These guys make perfect sense. They look like fries and chicken nuggets, and they babble on unintelligibly. It looks like they were always having a grand old time but sadly, I would imagine that they all died by the age of 20 due to high cholesterol and four blocked arteries. They probably had really bad acne too.

3.) Ronald McDonald -



For what its worth, he is an icon. His red hair and yellow jump suit match the colors of the famous Arches logo. Being a clown, he's friendly to most kids...(not me though). He STILL makes a lot of promotional appearances (I saw him a few months ago at a local McDonald's and he was swamped by little kids). Mysteriously, I've never seen a Ronald McDonald actually sample some of the food at the restaurant he calls his namesake.

2.) The Hamburglar -




Again, his character makes little sense. Is he promoting children to STEAL hamburgers from a local MacDonald's? His little getup is interesting too as I've never seen a burglar with a cape much less a prison outfit. His hat intrigues me as well...


1.) Grimace -



Good old Grimace. The Destro to Cobra Commander, the Iron Hide to Optimus Prime, Grimace seems to be Ronald McDonald's best friend and close confidant. Again, Grimace doesn't look anything like something you can find on the McDonald's menu unless you ate 10 Big Macs along with some purple food coloring. Then maybe, you could create your own Grimace in your bathroom. The closest I think of is a hash brown but I'm writing that more because I'm getting hungry.

Honorable mentions:
Mayor McCheese




Anyway, This commercial pretty much sums up the kind of commercials one could make with a $5,000 budget back in the 80's. Note how not one food item is brought up.