Classic Restaurants - Sizzler (or how to blow out your colon)

Not too far away from where I grew up was a perfect place to go out to eat as a little kid. Unlike picking one item off a menu, this restaurant featured a delicious buffet full of tasty items that little kids love...fried chicken, mozzaralla sticks, macaroni and cheese, and best of all, a dessert bar loaded to the max. This place was a mecca for me. Some people raved about Friendly's but those people can have their Friendly's. Me? I was a "Sizzler" kid.

Sizzler was a novelity chain where although you could order off a menu, it was unique in that it offered a buffet. I LOVED this place because I could get a slice of ham, two chicken wings, a scoop of macaroni and cheese, and some bacon bits from the salad bar, all on one plate. The adults could order off the menu and get something more civlized like a steak. The dessert bar was loaded with soft serve ice cream and many different kinds of toppings.

The local Sizzler went out of business (as did many Sizzlers) in the mid 90's and I just assumed they had gone bankrupt. To my pleasant surprise, there was a Sizzler located a half mile from my old apartement in Bayside, Queens. My roommate and I decided to check it out and relive the old days eating greasy food buffet style. Little did we know that either our stomachs grew up or the quality of Sizzler's food went down because within minutes of finishing our meals, I felt like my ass was going to explode. We immediately got out of there and went straight home, running a red light or two on the way. Let's just say, I was very happy we each had our own bathroom at that time.

So in closing, Sizzler is sort like that really hot girl in high school that now weighs 300 pounds. Ironically there's one not far away from where I live now and as tempted as I am to check it out, my common sense grabs a hold of me as my sphincter spasms everytime I drive by.