Best Actress

And the presenters are...

Sophia Loren, Shirley McClain, Halle Berry's breasts, Nicole Kidman, and Mariann Coultier.

* I really like this idea of having multiple presenters kiss the nominees asses.

* Shirley draws Anne Hathaway who is baaaaaarely holding it together here. Anne should note that once you hit 40, the roles dry up quickly (see Shirley McClain)

* Marianne (who beat Kate last year) gets to try and make Kate tear up. If she wins...look out.

* Oh Halle...first she has to recognize herself winning before recognizing the "who is that?" nominee. If I want to see a "Frozen River" I'll drive to the 1000 Islands in the middle of January.

* Sophia Loren and her stiff face gets to talk about Meryl Streep. They show a quick shot of Sophia's back with wires coming out...it wouldn't surprise me if she's a robot in real like. Penelope Cruz would be wise to parlay her career into one of Sophia...take notes.

* Nicole Kidman discusses Angelina Jolie. She must have drawn the short straw. Green jewelery too.

* And the winner goes to Kate Winslet...."GATHER!!! GATHER!!! GATHER!!!"

* Hmmm..Kate talks about waiting to accept an Oscar since she was 8 years old. When I was 8 years old, I wish I could be a Transformer or even better Turbo Teen.

* Why is Kate Winslet's Dad sitting so far back in the audience...he definitely shows off the other thing that the Brits are famous before besides great actors....horrible teeth.

* Okay Kate, time to get off the stage...